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Review: Trenches
Author: David Newton (DavidN)
Added: 02/11/2003

I struggle to find what to say about this game, really - and that's not good news when you have to write 1500 characters about it. I think the solution is probably to pad it out with nonsense like this and hope that no one notices. Oh, what a giveaway.

Right, the title screen is entirely green with some red text, and uses the GFactory midi "warshell.mid". I had to squint at the screen just to read it, but that's probably just due to my colourblind eyes. Oh, by the way, an American that lives in the same Hall as me told me the other day that she always wanted to be colourblind because they thought it would be "rather cool". So I'm apparently one of the coolest people in Melville.

Back to the game, or I'll most likely get nailed for gibbering on about irrelevant garbage. And I don't want to be locked in Shadowcaster's basement. Again. So, the object of the game is to shoot down the soldiers coming over the trench on the other side, advancing your troops towards them. When they reach the other side, you win the level.

Now, that's all well and good, but getting your soldiers to reach the other side is next to impossible. The best tactic to employ is to just shoot every enemy soldier as soon as they dare to poke their gun on to the screen, but due to the slow fire rate and the fact that three of them appear at a time there's still a chance that one of them will get to fire off a bullet. It's then a matter of luck whether the bullet hits one of your soldiers or not, and luck is not a good way to run a game. Unless you're playing Snakes and Ladders, of course. A strafe function is provided, but it really doesn't help at all.

You're always up at the top of the screen and you can't see your own side at all, trying desperately to pick off enemy soldiers before they can fire, and it really is a losing battle, particularly when the machine gunners come in. I don't really know how to improve this, though... slow down the fire rate of the enemies? More control over your own squad would help a lot, anyway.

Let's finish on a good point - the squaddies are drawn rather well.

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