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Stephen [NeonairGames]

Crazy?

Registered
  24/07/2002
Points
  4521

Game of the Week WinnerVIP Member
29th December, 2003 at 11:31:09 -

I got a funny poster for Christmas entitled "Things you learn from video games". Here's the list of things it has on it:

-There is no problem that can be overcome by force.

-if it moves, DESTROY IT!

-piloting any vehicle is simple and requires no training.

-one lone "good guy" can defeat an infinite number of "badguys."

-make sure you eat all food lying on the ground.

-you can break things and get away with it.

-you can push other vehicles off the road and get away with it.

-if someone dies, they disappear.

-if you get mad enough, you can fight even better.

-you can overcome most adversaries simply by having enough quarters.

-you can operate all weapons without training.

-no matter how long you fight, you can always fight again.

-death is reversible(only for you!)

-ninjas are common and frequently fight in public.

-whenever big fat mean guys are about to croak, they begin flashing red or yellow.

-you never run out of ammunition, just grenades.

-all women wear revealing clothes and have great bodies.

-shoot everything. If it blows up or dies, it was bad.

-don't worry if your vehicle crashes and explodes. A new vehicle will appear in its place.

-a thousand-to-one odds against you is not a problem.

and here's a few I came up with:

-"badguys" often don't notice you even if you're right infront of their noses.

-Important things are often shiny, highlighted, sparkly, or have a glow around them.

-the avarage human can jump 8 feet into the air.

-going to the bathroom is unnecessary(except on The Sims)

-If you collect something, you'll live longer!

-you can carry an infinite number of items at one time.

 
http://www.neonairgames.net

Stephen [NeonairGames]

Crazy?

Registered
  24/07/2002
Points
  4521

Game of the Week WinnerVIP Member
29th December, 2003 at 11:32:08 -

Anymore ideas?

 
http://www.neonairgames.net

Weston L



Registered
  16/12/2002
Points
  1603
29th December, 2003 at 11:53:53 -

I got that poster for Christmas too!

Heres one idea:

-if you dont find money laying on the ground, you will most likely find it in a brick.

 
n/a

Ashman

Possibly Insane

Registered
  12/06/2002
Points
  3974
29th December, 2003 at 17:14:23 -

-Knocking is not required... just burst into to peoples house and expect them to immediately tell you their problem and what they expect you to do about it before you even introduce yourself.

 
Show me the power child,
I'd like to say,
That I'm down on my knees today,
Gives me the butterflies,
Gives me away,
'Til I'm up on my feet again,
I'm feeling outshined.


"Outshined" - SoundGarden

AndyUK

Mascot Maniac

Registered
  01/08/2002
Points
  14456

Game of the Week WinnerSecond GOTW AwardHas Donated, Thank You!VIP Member
29th December, 2003 at 19:06:36 -

first aid boxes can instantly heal even severe wounds.

 
.

Nickstudios



Registered
  22/08/2003
Points
  479
29th December, 2003 at 19:10:26 -

Money bursts from monsters after being killed.

Image Edited by the Author.

 
n/a

Karnage [Ragnarok Games]



Registered
  28/10/2003
Points
  664
29th December, 2003 at 19:18:44 -

-Never trust a man named Lance Vance.
-Violence is accepted in most areas.
-The world is crawling with monsters and assasins.
-All of the world can be explored in a 2D or 3D perspective.
-And, one I learned from game making...
-If you don't like something, bitch about it 'till it's fixed!
Lord knows enough people do that with my games.

Oh yeah, and where can you get that poster? Is it avalible in the U.S?

 
Remember, there's a little darkness in all of us... we just express it best.
--Ragnarok Games



Nickstudios



Registered
  22/08/2003
Points
  479
29th December, 2003 at 19:26:51 -

-You can open people car doors so easly
-Take a bunch of shots before getting killed
-Shoot a cop and get away with it with only 2 stars
-Run from the cops and change radio stations at the same time
-Find hidden packages everywhere
-Kill a person and their money and weapons just appear on the floor
-Get out of the car when its flipped over so easly
-People get ran over and get back up and start walking again
-flying across roofs on a bike
-and run street poles over and barely mess up your car

That's what i learned from Vice City.

 
n/a

Nickstudios



Registered
  22/08/2003
Points
  479
29th December, 2003 at 19:30:35 -

People die in 5 punches.We can double Jump and hold our breaths forever underwater.Choose wherever you wanna go from the stage select screen.

Image Edited by the Author.

Image Edited by the Author.

 
n/a

Phatboy



Registered
  28/12/2003
Points
  38
29th December, 2003 at 19:55:38 -

Become invisible or invinsable by typing in a few cheat codes before you do anything.

 
www.phatboy.corecoders.com - Phatboy Games (Not the fake guy who has stolen my name)

Buster

BLING COMMANDER

Registered
  03/06/2002
Points
  1545

VIP Member
29th December, 2003 at 19:58:49 -

I'm not sure if this has been said yet, but

'Other good guys are invincible to your attacks, bad guys arn't.'

 

Nickstudios



Registered
  22/08/2003
Points
  479
29th December, 2003 at 20:01:25 -

Making a cow have the shits badly with some prune juice.and fighting a giant poo monster.A whole town made of crap.



(Conkers BFD)


Image Edited by the Author.

 
n/a

Dogzer



Registered
  07/02/2011
Points
  1029
29th December, 2003 at 20:03:12 -

how about - how to make a more entertaining videogame

 
n/a

Ashman

Possibly Insane

Registered
  12/06/2002
Points
  3974
30th December, 2003 at 01:05:33 -

Learnt from Golden Eye -

Two bullet wounds to the hand will cause a highly lethal infection to kill you instantly.

 
Show me the power child,
I'd like to say,
That I'm down on my knees today,
Gives me the butterflies,
Gives me away,
'Til I'm up on my feet again,
I'm feeling outshined.


"Outshined" - SoundGarden

Smeggy

The Smegster

Registered
  08/01/2003
Points
  1062

VIP Member
30th December, 2003 at 01:45:07 -

Collecting large wandering mushrooms will increase you in size rapidly.

 
http://www.klik-union.com

Hayo

Stone Goose

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  15/08/2002
Points
  6944

Game of the Week WinnerHas Donated, Thank You!VIP MemberGOTM 3RD PLACE! - APRIL 2009Weekly Picture Me This Round 27 Winner!Weekly Picture Me This Round 41 Winner!Weekly Picture Me This Round 45 Winner!
30th December, 2003 at 03:29:07 -

the world is surrounded by an invisible wall.

 
www.hayovanreek.nl

Ashman

Possibly Insane

Registered
  12/06/2002
Points
  3974
30th December, 2003 at 04:45:28 -

Theres always one big bad guy and killing him makes everything happy happy la la land.

 
Show me the power child,
I'd like to say,
That I'm down on my knees today,
Gives me the butterflies,
Gives me away,
'Til I'm up on my feet again,
I'm feeling outshined.


"Outshined" - SoundGarden

Kris

Possibly Insane

Registered
  17/05/2002
Points
  2017
30th December, 2003 at 04:50:12 -

- everyone has some kind of problem that they can't solve by themselves (RPGs are the worst)

- to get stronger you must reach an arbitrary number of 'experience points'.

- killing a monster that inflicts poison will make it drop an antidote


Image Edited by the Author.

 
"Say you're hanging from a huge cliff at the top of mt. everest and a guy comes along and says he'll save you, and proceeds to throw religious pamphlets at you while simultaniously giving a sermon." - Dustin G

Muggus

Possibly Insane

Registered
  31/07/2002
Points
  2958
30th December, 2003 at 05:20:58 -

GTA probably spawns most of the best ones...
- Guns and armour are easily found lying in the streets.
- Cops don't care if you break the speed limit or run a red lightm, just don't bump their cars!
- If you see a Spinning Skull sign on the side of the road you will be given a weapon with unlimited ammo and a get away with killing heaps of people if you kill enough.
- If you walk into water, you die
- You can steal a train with the press of a button

And out of other games...
- A warrior armed with a sword can destroy a castle made from solid rock
- People can shoot fire and lightning from their hands without doing any damage to themselves
- If you perform the right kind of dance moves you can be rewarded with weapons or invincibility.
- You can't actually go into every building you see. Often windows are decieving and unbreakable!
- When you die you do become a ghost.


 
MUGGUS
Come and annoy me more at
www.muggus69.tk
STOUT ANGER!!!

Ashman

Possibly Insane

Registered
  12/06/2002
Points
  3974
30th December, 2003 at 06:09:44 -

Being in the epicentre of a massive explosion doesn't kill you... but you're family will deprived of some of the watermelon pieces they planned to eat tonight... poor Jimmy and his family...

 
Show me the power child,
I'd like to say,
That I'm down on my knees today,
Gives me the butterflies,
Gives me away,
'Til I'm up on my feet again,
I'm feeling outshined.


"Outshined" - SoundGarden

Teapot

Does he even go here

Registered
  02/10/2003
Points
  2631

VIP Member
30th December, 2003 at 06:13:56 -

FPSs:
-you only have 2 different height positions-stand and crouch, anything slightly lower then crouch is not reachable
-(except halo) you can carry a rocket laucher, a pistol, a soviet, a sniper rifle and 10 throwing knives without slowing down or increasing in mass.
-walking into a dinner party, you can punch any number of windows and priceless vases without notice, but punch a human and everyone knows your a secret agent.
-if you perform any really acrobatic action, you will see yourself doing it rather than seeing it through your eyes
-everyone has a personal militia of look-a-like camouflaged soldiers
-in snow, soldiers wear snow camouflage, anywhere else they will wear jungle gear
-monkeys are capable of operating guns

Adventure:
-in most towns it is customary to tell anyone who passes buy, everything you know
-without saying anything, people will often answer questions that have formed in your mind
-you can get any item you desire buy entering and besting a dungeon
-currency often floats on end just above the ground

Platformers:
-all doors are colour coded to match ther keys
-most things can be acheived by pulling a red leaver
-blocks can float in the air without any support
-princesses are often getting kidnapped by giant turtle-dragon hybrids and can only be rescued by one unarmed person rather than the military

 
n/a

Kris

Possibly Insane

Registered
  17/05/2002
Points
  2017
30th December, 2003 at 09:26:20 -

but you never need more than two

 
"Say you're hanging from a huge cliff at the top of mt. everest and a guy comes along and says he'll save you, and proceeds to throw religious pamphlets at you while simultaniously giving a sermon." - Dustin G

Evil Monkey



Registered
  08/12/2002
Points
  598
30th December, 2003 at 10:27:29 -

About the two stances, actually America's Army, a free FPS, has three stances: Stand, Prone, and Crawl. Also, if you've ever played that game, you will probably change your mind about only needing two guns.

 
Project Progress:

1.: Droid Runner (5% Complete)
Finishing Up Game Engine

Kris

Possibly Insane

Registered
  17/05/2002
Points
  2017
30th December, 2003 at 10:31:43 -

i played it and thought it sucked, so i got rid of it

 
"Say you're hanging from a huge cliff at the top of mt. everest and a guy comes along and says he'll save you, and proceeds to throw religious pamphlets at you while simultaniously giving a sermon." - Dustin G

Karnage [Ragnarok Games]



Registered
  28/10/2003
Points
  664
30th December, 2003 at 10:43:30 -

Yeah, America's army sucked, and it was almost impossible for a dial-up user to beat the levels. Why should I have to enter an online code to save my progress? The best thing was shooting the seargent on the first level, then getting shoved in a shitty little prison cell. Oh yeah, here's another one:
-It is possible to be reincarnated in different parts of the world, as long as you have hit a checkpoint.
-Randomly, everything is destroyed when a master force presses the power button.
-You are reincarnated from the power destruction by going to a save point.
-Everything is much easier than it looks.

 
Remember, there's a little darkness in all of us... we just express it best.
--Ragnarok Games



Pete Nattress

Cheesy Bits img src/uploads/sccheesegif

Registered
  23/09/2002
Points
  4811
30th December, 2003 at 10:57:18 -

same here. halo rules, however.

anyway, some pearls of wisdom from metal gear solid 2:

- eating food makes you feel better and can stop you bleeding
- it is possible to hide a box about your person, unfolding it when necessary in a split second and then fit snugly underneath it, concealing you existence from anyone else
- no one can see more than 2 feet in front of their noses, even when wearing IR goggles
- generals regularly encourage their men to look around the room during the middle of speaches
- to get any information whatsoever you must first endure either the whinings of your menstral girlfriend or some random bullshit from a pansy geek
- if you hold up a man for more than a minute he will decide to take his chances and try and shoot you regardless
- swords can block bullets
- vampires exist
- stories lose all relevance very quickly
- you end up just not caring about anything

 
www.thenatflap.co.uk

darmani64



Registered
  06/08/2003
Points
  464
30th December, 2003 at 13:36:43 -

-If lightning strikes a tree, there will be a Sword of Fire inside.
-Don't worry about the napalm, you'll escape with no burn marks.
-If you kick someone, they'll burst into flame.
-If you have your army kill 1000 peasants, you'll suddenly learn how to use a bow.
-Going to the right school can teach you how to make wolves appear out of thin air, but only once per day.
-You'll aways know when you're in danger, just listen for the music change.
-You can read fat tomes in less than a second.
-A professinal sports team will always accept someone with no experience to be their coach.
-You can change equipment without moving your arms.
-Driving into a balloon can make a shield around your kart.
-All marines say the exact same thing.
-If a priest says some crazy words, he can make your sworn enemy want to work for you.
-Your new hat can let you walk through walls.
-If you don't know where your enemy is, you can always look on their screen.
-If someone is hit by a bazooka, all they'll say is "Ow"
-There's always a way to win, just as long as you're playing against the computer.
-Time never passes when you're in town.
-You can change it between night and day by playing a tune.

 
Darmani the strong, Darmani the brave, Darmani the.......................idiot who fell off a cliff!

Teapot

Does he even go here

Registered
  02/10/2003
Points
  2631

VIP Member
30th December, 2003 at 19:49:08 -

halo really does suck

 
n/a

Ashman

Possibly Insane

Registered
  12/06/2002
Points
  3974
3rd January, 2004 at 05:37:13 -

I gotta steal that Sword of Fire in tree bit... that's RPG gold Jerry... GOLD!

 
Show me the power child,
I'd like to say,
That I'm down on my knees today,
Gives me the butterflies,
Gives me away,
'Til I'm up on my feet again,
I'm feeling outshined.


"Outshined" - SoundGarden

Nick of All Trades

Possibly Insane

Registered
  03/09/2002
Points
  2312

Game of the Week Winner
3rd January, 2004 at 05:49:07 -

-From my game, Asia Travel -Lite-, you may learn a litlle about geography, som countries, where they are and their capitols (even if some of them isn't really correct placed out)
-And everything you find around you will help you wheither wich problem you have.

 
n/a

Penguin Seph



Registered
  11/12/2002
Points
  1338
3rd January, 2004 at 06:05:30 -

-You can walk into anybodys home, take anything you want and notbody will care.
-If you die, you can start again from the last place you saved from.
-Everytime you talk to someone, they always say the same things.
-If the main villan is male, he will be your dad or brother.

 
Hi!

renneF



Registered
  02/08/2003
Points
  672
3rd January, 2004 at 06:54:18 -

Weapons and ammunition hover above the gound while spinning.

 
Image

Deleted User
3rd January, 2004 at 07:16:42 -

Runescape:
-You can eat ten lobsters at middle of combat.
TGF games:
-Because of some mysterious force (Named Clickteam) there can't be over 300 people in the same level.

 

Muffin Batel [neonair games]



Registered
  09/08/2002
Points
  900
3rd January, 2004 at 10:23:29 -

u can get that poster at Hot Topic

 
n/a

AsparagusTrevor

Mine's a pint of the black stuff

Registered
  20/08/2002
Points
  2364

Game of the Week WinnerHas Donated, Thank You!VIP MemberEvil kliker
3rd January, 2004 at 18:46:57 -

- Sod picking things up with your hands, just walking over them will be fine.
- You can instantly add the bullets of a bad guy's clip you just collected to your clip without removing anything from the gun.
- You'll only need use the same couple of fighting moves over and over again.
- Innocent people always dress in white.
- People will eventually die if you shoot them in the foot enough times.
- Zombie bites will infect and zombify any other characters, but as long as your health doesn't run out, you can take as many bites as you want with no ill effects. (something I rectified in Zombies Now I might add)
- You can blow the shit out of any monster or bad guy in your path, but the locked wooden door needs a key?!?
- In FPS, you are just a floating head with no legs.
- Don't worry, enemies will always stand there and let you shoot them, running for cover is for pussies.
- Obviously when there is a lot of action, things tend to slow down and jerk, like in real life.
- People in games are really good at ventrilaquism, and have really good poker faces.
- Instead of moving forward to walk like normal people, retards, type 'W' on the keyboard.

Sorry, I have a thing against WASD. The arrow keys were always fine, and they do exactly what it says on the tin.

Image Edited by the Author.

 
Image

Stephen [NeonairGames]

Crazy?

Registered
  24/07/2002
Points
  4521

Game of the Week WinnerVIP Member
3rd January, 2004 at 19:17:02 -

-items mysteriously jump towards you when you come near them
-somehow, you always know how many more hits til you die and how many times you can bring yourself back fromthe dead.
-there is gravity in space when exploring the outsides of space stations.
-sometimes, you can stay in space without a helmet or other breathing gadget.
-to use an ability, you must shout out the name of the ability.
-whenever you run against a wall, your arms and legs will partially go through the wall.

 
http://www.neonairgames.net

darmani64



Registered
  06/08/2003
Points
  464
4th January, 2004 at 00:26:07 -

"I gotta steal that Sword of Fire in tree bit... that's RPG gold Jerry... GOLD!"

1. What game are you talking about?
2. It's from Heroes of Might and Magic 4.

 
Darmani the strong, Darmani the brave, Darmani the.......................idiot who fell off a cliff!

Pete Nattress

Cheesy Bits img src/uploads/sccheesegif

Registered
  23/09/2002
Points
  4811
4th January, 2004 at 06:03:28 -

don't worry trev, i too am against WASD. probably because i just end up jamming other keys instead when i try the press them.

 
www.thenatflap.co.uk

Ashman

Possibly Insane

Registered
  12/06/2002
Points
  3974
4th January, 2004 at 06:07:35 -

All monkeys are french...

 
Show me the power child,
I'd like to say,
That I'm down on my knees today,
Gives me the butterflies,
Gives me away,
'Til I'm up on my feet again,
I'm feeling outshined.


"Outshined" - SoundGarden

Lew



Registered
  06/01/2002
Points
  1014
4th January, 2004 at 06:23:52 -

-You CAN take 10 bullets to the chest and 2 to the head and still save the world. Twice. And if you take the path in the handy mountain, you can save the universe too.

WASD is there for a purpose-if you are playing an FPS that uses the mouse, the keys to open doors, jump etc are always too far away from the arrow keys, meaning you have to stop moving. If you're using WASD you can press virtually any key in the main bit of the keyboard without stopping.
Also you can't say halo sucks, because it is a good game. You just say it sucks because it doesn't live up to the hype, but if you play it it is slightly better than the average FPS. It doesn't "suck".

 
<--intelligent, witty comment here-->

Pete Nattress

Cheesy Bits img src/uploads/sccheesegif

Registered
  23/09/2002
Points
  4811
4th January, 2004 at 10:58:19 -

halo kicks arse... maybe slightly moreso on xbox, but still the PC version is fun. the physics engine is great, the weapons are perfectly balanced and the weapon carry limit makes it much more tactical.

arrow keys work fine. i can hit ctrl, shift, enter, delete, end, page down, numpad1 and numpad 0 without stopping to look up. couple that with mouse wheel up/down/press and your 2 mouse buttons, and those are all the keys you need for immeditae access; there's plenty of them.

 
www.thenatflap.co.uk

Pixalatio



Registered
  16/03/2003
Points
  652
4th January, 2004 at 11:38:31 -

halo sucks

and a little one ive noticed:
-if someone tells you not to do it you wont get anywere if you dont listen to them

 
Twas brillig, and the slivey toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe,
All mimsy were the borogroves,
And the momewraths outgrabe.

http://www.pixalatio.tk - visit me please

Did you know that your computer has secret buttons hiding behind others.

I intent to never delete any part of my sig until it is t big to handle.

for one small minute my rating was possibly insane

Nick of All Trades

Possibly Insane

Registered
  03/09/2002
Points
  2312

Game of the Week Winner
4th January, 2004 at 16:30:01 -

-you can hold your breath underwater for ten minutes, even if you talk to yourself (Monkey Island)
-you can kill your enemies by jumping on them, and then use their bodies to kill even more (Super Mario)
-hedghogs are blue, were sportshoes and can run faster then any other living creature in the world (Sonic)

 
n/a

Knudde (Shab)

Administrator
Crazy?

Registered
  31/01/2003
Points
  5125

Has Donated, Thank You!Clickzine StaffKlikCast StarVIP MemberGhostbuster!Dos Rules!I donated an open source project
4th January, 2004 at 16:40:07 -

Halo is a way overated game, I've played better Quake/Quake 2 mods. I just hate that people call it the "Best Game EVER!" Because that's FAR from the truth, it's a standard first person shooter that happens to be nice on the eyes.

 
Craps, I'm an old man!

CsaR

Old tdc fart

Registered
  16/09/2002
Points
  742

Game of the Week WinnerVIP MemberWii OwnerHas Donated, Thank You!
4th January, 2004 at 17:01:43 -

-If you hear a grunting noice from somewhere quickly take a step sideways (quake 1)
-Railguns are real and kills anything instantly. (quake 3)
-If you drive up to an unknown woman and then drive in to the forest and wait, you'll get lucky! (GTA3)
-If you shoot someone in the head, a mysterious echoing voice will yell: HEADSHOT! (CS)
-Beating someone up without getting hit yourself will give you PERFECT rating!
-It doesn't matter how much you wreck when transporting yourself from one place to another, just be there before the clocks reaches zero. (GTA3)
-Shoots leaves trails in the air helping you to spot hidden units (Delta Force)
-If you dance around and perform some handposes and see some lights in different colors comming from your feet, then you can be sure that you've just performed a kickass move. (FF7)
-If something glows or switches colors often, then it's magic!
-If there's a dangerous animal in front of you just throw a ball at him. (pokemon)

well thoose were my goes..

 
(9*_*)9 o-(*_*o)
www.hoghar.com

Ashman

Possibly Insane

Registered
  12/06/2002
Points
  3974
5th January, 2004 at 05:07:12 -

Plumbers often climb totally unfounded girders to rescue stray princesses from giant monkeys that wear ties and throw barrels from a magically never ending pile of barrels...

 
Show me the power child,
I'd like to say,
That I'm down on my knees today,
Gives me the butterflies,
Gives me away,
'Til I'm up on my feet again,
I'm feeling outshined.


"Outshined" - SoundGarden

Keatonian



Registered
  15/07/2002
Points
  571
5th January, 2004 at 05:59:39 -

-It is easy to create compact robots that fight/are evil.
-Punches and Kicks can kill easily.
-Monsters carry magical items and gold.
-If you kill enough people you will suddenly be more powerful.
-If the need arises, you will be a super badnose.

 
-Above post is ancient and probably irrelevant-

An old account of mine, recently cleared out. It's a blast to the past, the age was marked as 14 when I found it. If you know where to look, you can track me. Au revoir.
   

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