This is an actual epithaph on a grave in a Montreal cemetery:
John,
Free your body and soul
Unfold your powerful wings
Climb up the highest mountains
Kick your feet up in the air
You may now live forever
Or return to this Earth
Unless you feel good where you are!
"Greetings, mortals." (A popular line of mine for those who don't know)
"At 12.00 AM, under a full moon, etch a pentagram onto the soil above my grave, pour the blood of 9 people who have never commited a sin onto it, and yell my name at the top of your lungs."
"Stare at this long enough and I will possess thee."
"I'm happy being dead. Why don't you give death a try? If you are unsatisfied in any way, we undead offer a double money back guarantee."
"I told you he was gonna kill me! I bet he's after YOU as well. Flee now! Run away, and never return!"
"Here lies the greatest person that has ever lived. </sarcasm>"
Disclaimer: Any sarcasm in my posts will not be mentioned as that would ruin the purpose. It is assumed that the reader is intelligent enough to tell the difference between what is sarcasm and what is not.
Show me the power child,
I'd like to say,
That I'm down on my knees today,
Gives me the butterflies,
Gives me away,
'Til I'm up on my feet again,
I'm feeling outshined.
"Ask me about my new miracle weight loss program!"
"The internet's harmless. No such thing as stalkers."
Disclaimer: Any sarcasm in my posts will not be mentioned as that would ruin the purpose. It is assumed that the reader is intelligent enough to tell the difference between what is sarcasm and what is not.
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