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Radix

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11th March, 2005 at 19:07:17 -

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/03/08/high_school_zombie_threat/

Everybody involved apart from the kid should've been left on a hilltop at birth.

 
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Broomie

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11th March, 2005 at 19:13:45 -

You've got to be fucking kidding me! Then again it is America.

 
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Knudde (Shab)

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12th March, 2005 at 10:32:47 -

This is out of control.

Hey If no one hears from me in a while, it's cause I said this
"I'm going to overrun the White House with my Zombie/Demon army, and shove a pretzel down george's throat then duct tape his mouth shut so he can choke without making those disgusting sounds of death"

Patriot act be damned.

 
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12th March, 2005 at 17:45:25 -

My personal guess is that it's something to do with the ensurance of school "safety." Ever since the Columbine shootings at that school, schools got really pathetic just to make sure nothing like that occured ever again. Although it was for the better, like searching pupils just incase they were holding illegal firearms, it did have it's silly moments. Some kid got expelled for pointing a chicken wing at a teacher and shouting POW! POW! The kid was 8 years old. So when a teenanger makes up a story about zombies attacking his school, well, it's obvious that it's going to get messy... in America anyway.

And before anyone notices, yes I did get that information from "Bowling for Columine."

 
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Knudde (Shab)

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12th March, 2005 at 17:49:15 -

Oh yay, Micheal Moore.

That guy's a f*cktard.

 
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JP



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12th March, 2005 at 19:21:24 -

To say that it happened because it was in america is absurd. This was a specialized case that has the odds stacked against it. There were just the right factors for it to come this far. How come when this kind of crap happens, no matter how rarely, people blame America's legal system and/or columnbine.

Headline should have been "Millions of Highschoolers not arrested for Zombie Stories"

there, that doesn't sound so ridiculous anymore does it.

 
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Anne-Marie: No, they have to share one.

Silveraura

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12th March, 2005 at 20:10:52 -

They only see this happening to us because they look for it, but its pretty obvious that if people looked, you would find this same shit happening elsewhere in the world. Its fucked up to see that people can put down america so easyly, just because of shit like this. This is about what... 0.5% of what USA really is, & I'm tired of people pointing fingers at us because of it. It needs to stop...

 
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AndyUK

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12th March, 2005 at 20:10:57 -

Locking the feller up suggests it is possible to raise zombies.

Anyway some laws are stupid.

 
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醤油の兵士

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12th March, 2005 at 20:23:24 -

ZOMFGWTFBBQKTHXBAI!
I agree with people who say america is messed up, because it simply is. Why else would I have a Best of the Onion [somewhere].

Anarchy!(-/-\-) <==bad attempt at a one line ASCII anarchy sign

 
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Radix

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12th March, 2005 at 20:29:20 -

JP: This wouldn't have happened anywhere EXCEPT america, and you bloody well know it. Thoughtcrime Patriot Act = doubleplusgood.

 
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Silveraura

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12th March, 2005 at 20:32:56 -

Look at the past of other places in the world, you will find the same shit there. Your past is just currently our present & there is absolutly no way to kick USA in the ass because of it. Thought I will admit, atleast 50% of USA is wacked in the head, because obviously Bush was re-elected so. Dont forget about the other half of USA that is infact sain here.

 
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Radix

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12th March, 2005 at 20:36:41 -

I just googled it, and nope, I can't find any record of kids being arrested for writing about zombies anywhere else.

 
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Silveraura

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12th March, 2005 at 20:40:12 -

Not sure, but I highly doubt someone is going to get arrested for Zombi Threats 2x, If someone was really hard core in proving the gultiness of other parts of the world, they can & will find it. I'm to lazy to do it though.

 
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Retired Kliker Lazarus

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12th March, 2005 at 20:42:38 -

You're forgetting the fact that Europe spawned America (sort of). It's not America. It's just this one idiot. His fragle little mind has been altered by the Communist Public School system.

That b why non of klikerz spel to good, yo.

 
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醤油の兵士

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12th March, 2005 at 20:43:11 -

all I ended up with was 23,000 articles that were the same as this.

And as Brandon implied, bush's re-election proves 51% of americans are dumbassess.

 
As a boy, I wanted to be a train. I didn’t realize this was unusual—that other kids played with trains, not as them.

Retired Kliker Lazarus

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12th March, 2005 at 20:49:19 -

Plus, his attempts were futile. The majority of all Public School attendees are mindless zombies anyway.



 
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CURRENT PROJECT:
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-Working in television.

Radix

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12th March, 2005 at 20:52:10 -

If someone was really hard core in proving the gultiness of other parts of the world
Dude, the point is there was no guilt here. The kid just wrote a story about zombies in a school. He didn't even say it was his school.

 
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Silveraura

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12th March, 2005 at 20:57:30 -

Bush is an idiot, elected by idiots, but the other 49% of USA who didnt vote for him, are not the idiots (unless they voted by flipping a coin) & I think we deserve some credit. Bush is the reasion no one likes USA, & in 4 years, we'll be back to normal again (unless another idiot is elected)...

 
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Radix

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12th March, 2005 at 21:21:32 -

You know, not living outside the US you can't really guess at why nobody likes america. I assure you, we were none too fond of it even before bush came to power. His reelection pissed people off, but it wasn't all hugs and kisses before that.

 
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Silveraura

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12th March, 2005 at 22:33:56 -

First Bush? No. current Bush? Yes. Anyway, no countries are hugs & kisses with each other, but Bush didnt make it any better & I know that anyone outside america who has had the chance to know me via AIM or some other form of IM, they change views over USA, because they see all of us at first, as a load of people with are fingers up our asses.

 
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JP



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13th March, 2005 at 02:24:02 -

Exactly, bush is a puppet, the interior appropriations committie members are the ones that get things done in america. He holds no real power, hes a figurehead.

Anyway I have seen a crapload of these kinds of stories coming from the UK, Germany, Canada, Japan.

There are bound to be more instances in the US because we are the third largest country by population. We also have more media coverage. Think of every little story like this that slips throught the cracks. The fact is that it didn't happen because of geographical location, the wrong people made certain decicions at wrong time.

I doubt they even know what the patriot act is, congress didnt even read it.

 
Steve Zissou: Anne-Marie, do all the interns get Glocks?

Anne-Marie: No, they have to share one.

Pete Nattress

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13th March, 2005 at 05:08:59 -

"Anyway I have seen a crapload of these kinds of stories coming from the UK"

Nobody in the UK has been arrested for writing a story about zombies, I can guarantee you that.

 
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AsparagusTrevor

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13th March, 2005 at 10:59:47 -

In the UK, we seem to get criminals being let off all the time. In the US, they seem to get people being arrested for stupid shitty things like that. We could do with some kind of middle ballance, UK car thieves and burglars actually getting put in jail no matter their age, and US citizens being able to write innocent fictional stories without being arrested.

 
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JP



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13th March, 2005 at 17:30:22 -

Stupid types of stories involving the laws or school systems of certain countries.

Phizzy, reading fark for over four years nearly every day, with 30 front page stories each day I have seen so many that I can't pinpoint every story from the guardian, sun, and register.

Anyway this kid hasnít been prosecuted, convicted, or incarcerated for writing the story, some kind of miscommunication must have happened along the way for it to procede even this far. Even in Winchester, Kentucky, the entire population knows that this is ridiculous and laughable.

 
Steve Zissou: Anne-Marie, do all the interns get Glocks?

Anne-Marie: No, they have to share one.

AndyUK

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14th March, 2005 at 15:58:41 -

Why does the article writer seem to be against the lad.

" behind bars after police uncovered his plot to raise a zombie army and attack his high school"

is that the truth?

"Mercifully, William Poole was cuffed before he could execute his macabre scheme"

thank goodness, now the short story will never.. er. be read.

"Naturally, the fledgling Baron Samedi has claimed that the writings were nothing more than a short story"

they always say that.

"Despite his protestations, the authorities have WISELY decided to cage the miscreant youth"

see, this artice is against the boy.



 
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Pete Nattress

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14th March, 2005 at 16:24:56 -

Set sarcasm detectors to stun, Andy...

 
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JP



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14th March, 2005 at 17:17:44 -

he needs to turn them on first.

 
Steve Zissou: Anne-Marie, do all the interns get Glocks?

Anne-Marie: No, they have to share one.

defenestrator

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15th March, 2005 at 01:36:48 -

You people wouldn't be laughing so much if his plan would have been successful.

Or, I don't know. "Kentucky Succumbs to Zombie Rampage" is kind of funny in its own way, I guess.

 
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15th March, 2005 at 08:51:29 -

Damn it man have these people completely lost their minds?! God, those must be the dumbest people I have ever read about! Necromancy, puh! That's just plain stupid, go and learn common sense!

I usually get angry of very, very, very dumb things.

 

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15th March, 2005 at 14:12:47 -

We dont know the whole story, only what we can read.

But it does seem a bit over the top to imprison a child for writting a story about zombies attacking a school. Unless the police have some really good evidence ... I am quite sure it would be safe to leave him outside.

There is some truth about this could not have happened in Western Europe ... well not in Denmark anyway (hardly in Western Europe). We tend to take things a bit more relaxed and balanced whereas the US tend to "Shoot first, ask afterwards".

 
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axel

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16th March, 2005 at 10:18:55 -

hey wait a minute! what if he actually WAS going to unleash a zombie army over america!! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!

Image Edited by the Author.

Image Edited by the Author.

 
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Broomie

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16th March, 2005 at 11:45:16 -

Run... I thought you'd have to walk from them they aren't exactly fast are they?

Unless these are the 28 Days Later zombies, then I'm off.

 
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Joshtek

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16th March, 2005 at 12:44:33 -

28 Days doesn't have zombies, it just has people who have been infected with Rage. It is Dawn of The Dead (remake) that has the speedier zombies...

Did the high school student send his teachers cookies after 6pm, too?

 
:: Joshtek ::


Oreos? GO! OREOS!

axel

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16th March, 2005 at 14:30:55 -

28 days later's zombies were fast.
for zombies.
Like when they ran over that minefield


 
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16th March, 2005 at 15:59:27 -

A couple summers ago my friend and I made a movie called Zombies A Go Go. It was a Teen Comedy except they get attacked by Zombies. The climax of the movie took place at the high school dance. The zombies get in and bit everyone. This film, when completed, was played AT THE HIGH SCHOOL... in one case I think a teacher put it on instead of English class. And we all became local celebrities.

It's a good thing the school never found our shooting script or they would've realized our horrible plan for world domination via zombie attacks.

 
Last time I had lobster, it reminded me of biology class. Except in biology class the professor didn't make you eat the frog when you were finished.

JP



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16th March, 2005 at 19:50:51 -

I wrote a story for school in which a teen that got picked on came to school with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic rifle, and took hostage of everyone at an assembly.

Then I got into AP english.

 
Steve Zissou: Anne-Marie, do all the interns get Glocks?

Anne-Marie: No, they have to share one.

卍 chicken14528 卍



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16th March, 2005 at 21:00:50 -

at my school i got in trouble for writing my "how to help out the community" paper about killing the bums to solve the homeless problem, and then employing people to bury them to solve the unemployment problem

 
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Ben Berntsen



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16th March, 2005 at 22:49:54 -

Methinks if High School teachers appreciated sarcasm there'd be way fewer dropouts.

 
Last time I had lobster, it reminded me of biology class. Except in biology class the professor didn't make you eat the frog when you were finished.

axel

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17th March, 2005 at 05:34:31 -

i once got highest grade for a short story about a guy called Bonzo who got drunk and jumped under a truck and wasn't accepted to hell and had to live on!

 
n/a

JP



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17th March, 2005 at 11:36:13 -

Was his name pronounced like the clown or like bon-so?

 
Steve Zissou: Anne-Marie, do all the interns get Glocks?

Anne-Marie: No, they have to share one.

Muz



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4th April, 2005 at 00:46:45 -

I wrote an essay about a guy who got his eyes clawed out by a cat because he didn't listen to the advice of a computer program. 4 pages, 50% dialog, got an A for it, and it was for one of those very, very important exams

 
Disclaimer: Any sarcasm in my posts will not be mentioned as that would ruin the purpose. It is assumed that the reader is intelligent enough to tell the difference between what is sarcasm and what is not.

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