Ok, so I needed to put up a website for the book. The cover, I think, we finally agree upon now
You can go to the site at www.oldmanstale.net . The reason was to get people to go there and read the sample chapter. Then, if they liked it, they could go and sign the petition at the bottom of the page.
Anyway, I realized that in my hurry the site may have come off as somewhat noobish. Im also not that great with flash so I'm gonna need some help.
Ok, here's how the site looks right now.
Here's an alternate look.
The other thing I was wondering was, how do you put a background on the html with the swf aligned in the center and playing. www.jkrowling.com does this I think. check it if you don't know what I mean.
the thing is i want to read the story but its to small, the flash only fills up half my screen. maybe its better to do the logo and stuff and anything animated in flash but the rest in plain good ol html?
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In the story section, doesnt it say "back" on the 2nd page?? The story section only gives you an overview of the story.
Goto sample chapter to read the chapter. And thanks for signing the petition and for the cover. Im gonna use the cover on fb.
Aside from the actual website design, I've just been reading the sample chapter, and I have to say I think it needs a lot of work. A lot of the adjectives used in the opener seem like they are planted there for the sake of it, like words plucked out of a thesaurus. Obviously this is all my own opinion, but I think things should be shown and not told - I don't understand how an "end" can be civilised? It sticks out that in the second paragraph, nearly all nouns are preceeded by an adjective. Also, you say the city is a "centre of commotion, day and night", but in the very next paragraph you say it's a "peaceful city", how can it be both? This leads to a muddle in the reader's brain, and I for one have no clear image of the city despite the many adjectives you've used.
The dialogue as well - I know it's a fantasy kind of novel, and a certain type of stiltedness is expected, but lines like "You will. But first I must confirm with you what you have accomplished" seem overly wordy. The line before too - "'My question? I do not understand.' Irawsin said, confused" - confused is a completely redundant word here, again going back to the over-use of adjectives.
I'm not just saying these things to attack it, but I think it needs a least one more rewrite because at the moment it's a draft.
If you can make the exact same thing in HTML then don't use Flash. Infact Flash dependency is dropping. And with CSS animation in stuff like Safari 4 it's probably going to fade even more over the coming years.
So yea. HTMLalize that. The font is also really had to read. The menu is okay but for bulk text something more standard would be appreciated.
@ Boothman - Ah, I donno about the adjectives. I thought using them made visualizing the text easier. Haha, they weren't plucked out of the thesaurus though, sorry if it seems that way. As for the word 'peaceful', you realize that it doesnt necessarily mean quiet and secluded right? For instance, "Manchester United supporters are a peaceful bunch". That doesn't mean they are quiet, it just means they don't have companies or violent groups.
The part about the confused being redundant, nice catch. I'll change that when I next update the site. As for the wordy feel, I dont know. I certainly don't think its wordy especially considering the era. I think people in medieval times were very careful in speaking in proper english. It's just my interpretation of the era. I dont know, other people have read the entire book, they seemed to think it portrayed the era well. Haha, dont worry about seeming to attack it. I can take criticism quite well and I appreciate yours.
@ Joellie & Dr. James - I hear you I changed the entire site to have two themes and changed the font. I think it should be much easier to read now. It's sorta like comic sans so yeah, go ahead and give it a try. Also, tell me if its fullscreen for you or not. Tell me if its still hard to read. I will try to make an html version as well. I'll upload that when I'm done with it. At least for now, its swf.
Thanks everyone for your input. I really do appreciate it.
I see where you're coming from with the peaceful thing, but at least for me peaceful means 'at peace' - commotion isn't peace. It's a small thing but it jumped out at me when I read it, and that's never a good thing.
And if you think people didn't use slang in times gone by then you're sorely mistaken - read Shakespeare and see some of the foul stuff in there if you don't believe me.
Ok, I'll see what I can do about the 'peaceful' bit on the next update. As for the slang bit, I totally agree with you but what do you think seems like a better representation of medieval times? Proper english or slang? Shakespeare didnt have to worry about these things because he was living in the era in which his plays were taking place (most of them I think). Your point is relevant to some extent however. In the book, there are quite a few characters who aren't as formal as the ones in the first chapter but I wouldn't say they use slang.