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David Newton (DavidN)

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8th December, 2005 at 17:33:57 -

I got a 419 scam email the other day. It was the usual sort of thing - a businessman from the Shell Petroleum Development Company (in Nigeria, unsurprisingly) had left $6 million to Random Person On The Internet. Naturally I was intrigued by the offer and emailed back asking him to provide more details, so that hopefully I could wind him up a bit.

He's just replied with proof of his identity. I can just about let past his thinking that MS Painted text looked remotely convincing if the JPG was compressed enough. You might even be able to forgive him for pasting it so badly on to the machine-readable part at the bottom. But to go on a random image search and decide that HIS face best represents you, then proudly affix it to your false passport... it takes something truly special.

http://wired.st-and.ac.uk/~wong/images/idiotpassport.jpg

(He's started promisingly, so I've emailed back my own fake passport. It happens to feature Bob Holness.)

 
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David Newton (DavidN)

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8th December, 2005 at 18:04:33 -

So far he's said that I "do not need me to help me finance this in any way", so it'll be interesting to see exactly how he's planning to get my money.

Image Edited by the Author.

 
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Peblo

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8th December, 2005 at 18:06:13 -

Hehe, I'm going to pull this when I'm older, and actually send them like $1000. OMG they will be soo mad!

 
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8th December, 2005 at 18:57:46 -

I keep getting e-mails that are from some REALLY lame scammer. Its just a sad jumble of words that were assembled by a stupid computer.

This is an actual quote:

"No said Mrs Hamstake. But she went to the trousers and ate some stone but under then for great aunt peanuts."

But under all of the nonsense was an add for real estate. The thing is, I get these all the time only with diffrent adds.

It's really stupid.


 
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Pete Nattress

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9th December, 2005 at 08:32:07 -

Get him to send you a picture of him with a flowerpot on his head.

 
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AndyUK

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9th December, 2005 at 08:35:14 -

I wonder how they would react if you sent a reply to this effect.

"Stop trying to scam me you dirty bastard, now fuck off and stop filling my inbox with crap, thank you."


I got one a while ago asking about sending me some money, i find it insulting they think i'm going to fall for such a poor trick.

 
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Pete Nattress

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9th December, 2005 at 12:01:46 -

People do fall for them though. Mainly bored, stupid desk jockey Americans who long for a bit of adventure. They get an email and they don't rationalise (perhaps because they can't), hand over their bank account details for the transfer and bam, conned. If it didn't work, the con artists wouldn't bother. That's why we're all still getting spammed to hell, that's why viruses spread so rapidly. People are idiots.

 
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Jakob37



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9th December, 2005 at 12:45:42 -

Very true, Pete.

 
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axel

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9th December, 2005 at 13:03:24 -

Have you guys also gotten those idiotic emails that say that if you don't send it to 16 other people on your MSN buddies list you're gonna have to pay for MSN in the future. I 've gotten like hundreds of them. I can't believe all my friends are so fucking stupid they still fall for that trick. And why the hell would MSN charge for the use of their IM. That would just kill the thing, and everybody would switch over to AIM or ICQ or whatever. And a official mass message from MSN's staff would have all sorts of banners and formatted text in it. The ones I get are just plain text, and some of them even contain bad language and stuff. People are idiots, truly.

 
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X_Sheep

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9th December, 2005 at 16:06:57 -

Meh, I've had chain e-mails about a handicapped girl that gets 0.001 dollar for every sent e-mail, and one about a 15-year old dead girl that'll kill me in my sleep if I didn't send it to 10 other people within an hour.

Nothing happened. lol internet

Image Edited by the Author.

 
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9th December, 2005 at 20:38:50 -

If anything, the spam isnt that annoying, its the freaken chain e-mails X_Sheep mentioned, that my friends, out of all people, send me just because they are bored, or perhaps they think its cool. God, those things are so annoying.

 
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AndyUK

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9th December, 2005 at 20:51:31 -

I have never forwarded a chain mail EVER! I don't even bother reading them either as they are a waste of my time.

 
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Peblo

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9th December, 2005 at 22:43:22 -

Or you can send it back to the sender 25 times or more.

 
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10th December, 2005 at 00:55:07 -

X_Sheep: I had that one, and I'm dead now. Have you gotten the one that says 'A little boy has cancer and he cannot pay for his operation. Everytime someone sends this e-mail, he will get a dollar for his operation. If not he will die.

How retarded can you get? I sent back an e-mail saying 'Good, let em' die.' And they wrote back saying I was heartless and that it was true. Somehow, I'm not convinced.

 
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Silveraura

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10th December, 2005 at 02:23:41 -

I think the major detail these people are missing in these stupid chains, is the fact that its nearly impossible, atleast from what I recall, for the original sender, to track how many times his e-mail was forwarded, unless they put alot of work into it. The only problem is, there are so many idiots out there who believe this stuff, because they have absolutly no clue how computers or the internet work, and fall for these stupid e-mails. They dont think logically, if at all. Thats why so many inexperenced computer users, dislike Windows. Its to easy to screw up if you dont know what your doing.

 
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Dr. James MD

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12th December, 2005 at 18:30:43 -

wish i had a Nigerian scammer you lucky sod Wong.

 
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13th December, 2005 at 21:13:05 -

lmao! i love peblo's advide! seriously i do

jsut send it back to them 25 times, and see if they wanna bother sending you anything like that ever again, hahaha

i myself haven't had to deal with spam for a very long time now, the best way to avoid spam is to simply not register for offers whcih are too good to be true, and maybe not he best way, but most certainly a fun way to deal with spam is to deal with it as peblo mentioned, hahaha

 
Vinny

Peblo

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14th December, 2005 at 05:27:12 -

At least I'm useful for something.

 
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Keatontech!

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17th December, 2005 at 09:33:19 -

GMail does a great job getting rid of all of my spam emails, so I've never seen any 'o those. If anybody wants gmail just email me at KeatonTech@KeatonTech.com and i'll send you an invite. GMAIL ROOLZ!

 
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17th December, 2005 at 14:00:42 -

Isn't that Terry Wogan?

 
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Keatontech!

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17th December, 2005 at 14:30:45 -

What? Who? Where? Why?

 
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David Newton (DavidN)

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17th December, 2005 at 16:47:42 -

Des O'Connor, I believe.

He hasn't come up with anything as spectacularly dim as that since, but the email address of the "bank" that I'm supposed to contact is standard_trust_bank01@yahoo.com. I feel that he's not really trying, somehow.

 
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Knudde (Shab)

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17th December, 2005 at 16:48:50 -

I've been getting that one for years..

 
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