This is a long post, don't expect it to be a well written either.
Here's the reason why ive never felt so low.
I started a job about 7 months ago, My coworkers were all fairly nice people especially two girls who were/are about my age. One tallish blonde and a smaller with brown hair.(who will be reffered to as Blonde girl and Brown haired girl)
In a desperate attempt to not be a geek i tried to be more outgoing around everybody. (Ive always been incredibly shy around anyone I don't know) It turns out they were both from Lithuania and had just moved to Enlgand. Infact where I work(ed) there are more foreigners than English.
Being good friends, they were seperated for talking to much and not doing enough work, but for some reason I was moved with the blonde one and we worked together for a few weeks. I noticed the brown haired girl had left but thought nothing of it since people come and go frequently there. A few changes were made an we were all put on different lines (i worked in a factory by the way) Me and the blonde waved at each other and exchanged pleasantries every now and then but nothing more.
Suddenly the brown haired girl came back and was put on my line, she was a lot quieter than the blonde. So I decided to make it my mission to talk to her, it was not easy but i always found some crap to talk about or ask. Anyway it was like this for a long time and i suddenly found myself being able to talk to everyone easier and wanting to come into work Just to talk to her. (the brown haired girl) I slowly became to really like her to the point where I thought of nothing else and the weekend was simply a long wait until I could see her again. It was incredibly hard to get anything out of her, I had to time it right so we would actually meet and even then I would only talk crap. I was putting in all the effort and it pissed me off that somedays she would not even say hello.
About a two weeks ago we were put on differnt lines again, but this time is hurt so much i felt like smashing something and lost my appetite, it was one of the most painfull weeks of my life but i knew it was only because i cared so much and knew I could not speak to her (trust me I couldn't)
I kinda panicked last week when me, her and a few other people were called into the office. I thought we were all going to be laid off. however we were the luky ones. Tons of people were laid off but we were simply moved to the morning shift. I couldn't have been more relieved but realised I had to make a move. I spent as much time as i could around her (at work) which was only the odd lunch breaks. I built up enough courage to tell her how I felt this wednesday. However she decided to spend the entire lunch break on her phone, another chance gone.
Early on Thursday I decided to write how I felt down incase she decided to ignore me again (which I felt was quite often) I handed her the note, which was incredibly poorly written and made me feel like a twat afterwards. Thats the sort of thing school kids do!
But She seemed really happy to recieve it but I couldn't help but wonder how she would react to it.
Today (Friday) Well She read the letter, I felt good about it I felt happy again for the first time in a long time. I was caught off guard contemplating my next move. When I was told I had to go to the office
Well a lot of us were in there (her too), I knew deep down that we were all laid off and was physically shaking. Still hoping perhaps we were getting put back on the afternoon shift. but then the dreaded words ive a few times before, "sorry we just have no more work for you all". Well I wasn't best pleased about this, she seemed happy enough about it and quickly dashed up stairs.
Then it hit me, I didn't know her phone number or address so this would be the last time we would ever see each other. I had to get to the exit before she did, I ran there and waited for what seemed hours, I had a terrible feeling that she had already left. But when i heard her voice, I turned and told her to stop. She had a massive smile as though she knew what was coming next, so i asked "I need to know, do you have a boyfriend?". She just said yes (still smiling) and walked away.
after collecting my things in a trance I got a lift home from my dad and even though noones want to cry infront of their dad i couldn't even speak before bursting into tears, i'm getting teary just writing this now.
So yeah, Ive lost my job and the one person ive ever liked enough to ask out. Life just does not seem worth the bother anymore. I wonder how can anyone else ever replace this girl that has been the one thing on my mind for months.
I don't know what you guys think about all this but i felt i needed to say something.
Aw mate that's terrible! Sorry to hear it. I've had my share of heartbreak but you always get over it no matter how bad it first seems. I suppose thats all I can offer you.
If its any consolation you should probably go on holiday to that part of the world. My grandfathers Polish and I've been over there a few times meeting family and that. Their attitude is so much better. There's a Polish girl on my course whose just got a brilliant outlook on life.
Dare I say... There are plenty more Lithuanian's in the sea Its probably not much to go with either, but at least you knew her. At least there's a little seed in your mind that she planted, you met her you knew her which is more than can be said for all of us. Rest on the fact that you have that up on us
god I'm so crap at this but still... it gets better
Yeh girls are kind of hard to understand - can never guess how they'll react to anything. Anyway sorry to hear about it, but I guess you can take some positive points out of it - being that you're more confident and everything now. I can barely talk to girls without saying something really stupid
I'm 20 now, I meet girls all the time and I ALWAYS say something stupid. Like theres this topless model on my course, and I'll accidentally say something shitty about breast enlargments or something equally retarded.
Just a curse most guys have i spose.
works on guys too. this mate I knew years ago had his thumb blown off by a pipebomb. For some reason when I was around him I'd always randomly shout BOOM!
A while ago, just after we started college, a friend of mine found this girl (who I must say is a stunner) that he really really liked. So things progress, he hangs round with her, walks around town with her - you know, simple stuff. After a bit he plucks up his courage and asks her out (on MSN, he's not that bold). She denies him.
After that, my friend gets really down, I mean REALLY down. He has to go to the doctor's about his depression, he won't talk to me or any of his other friends, he walks away whenever there's anyone around. Then, this other girl reaches out to him. She helps him through his bad times, cheers him up and that. Now they're boyfriend and girlfriend, and my mate is the happiest I've ever seen him.
So there is light at the end of the tunnel Andy, you've just got to believe that there is. Trust me, in a while you'll find someone else and forget about the Lithuanian.
Thats really really sad. You know- some girls will seem really friendly, and their smile will win you over, and they'll manage to look at you eye to eye, but never trust them. You need to know them for a very long time I believe, or you need to test them. They try to test us. My brothers realised this recently. My second eldest was texting a girl. My eldest told him she was testing him and that he shouldnt reply. Lol after 10 minutes she was texting him like crazy firing questions all over the place. It worked quite well! The story to be told from this? Nothing... im speaking shit again....
Wait.. no... Let them run after you, not vice versa!